What the hell?

Been a while… School’s keeping me busy, or actually, driving me insane. It’s choosing between sleeping and doing homework, and often times I choose the former, and its totally destroying me. Spring break went by way to fast, like in the blink of an eye I am back at school, sitting in class, listening to 65-year old professors lecture about accounting policies and whatnot.

In a stupid turn of events, I chose to not partake in Zoodisc’s spring season, instead opting for something else which I can’t speak of, but that’s turned out to be a mistake so far. Right now I am deep in thought on whether I should drop this current thing and either gets back to Ultimate, or just drop it all and solely focus on school. The reason I want to drop this thing is that it’s just not fun, sure it takes up the same amount of time as practice, but it’s just not fun. I absolutely despise every second of this new thing, it lingers on my mind 24/7 and it’s driving me nuts. Looking back on it, I can’t see how I ever would have wanted to do this in the first place, why? I’ve talked to my partner in this new thing and we’ve both agreed that this new thing that we are doing is pointless, how will it help us in the long run? They say we will make connections forever, and be part of something big, but how does hating every second of it make it worthwhile? I’ve come to points where I just wanted to absolutely punch everyone around me, making them drop me or something, giving myself an excuse to get out of it. The only reason I’ve lasted this long was because I didn’t want to see myself as a quitter, but honestly, how can you go on doing for weeks something you hate down to the pit of your soul?

The decision will be made tonight probably on whether to go on with this or not. We will me with the head advisor of the process tonight and look over our options, because it’s just not worth it anymore. Plus, I need sleep time and homework time and this is cutting into it.